He just proposed. You just said “Yes!” Now visions of flowers and tulle are floating through your head. You’re envisioning the exact shade of pink for your bouquet. You imagine the feel of the satin on your bridesmaids’ dresses. You can almost see the sparkling diamonds on your wedding band . . .
Whoa, girl! Before you get carried away choosing your wedding photographer and picking a venue – before you do one ounce of wedding planning – set your wedding mantra.
“What?? What the heck is a wedding mantra?”, You ask?
A wedding mantra is a memorable means for keeping you focused on the goal of marrying the person you love – NOT having the perfect wedding. A wedding mantra is an idea that you can come back to when wedding planning start spiraling out of control. It can free your mind from the wedding clutter and get you focused back on what’s important: getting married.
In our culture, so much emphasis is placed on the celebration itself. It’s all about style and color and the dress. Just think about the dozens of TV shows premised on planning the perfect wedding. Most of them, of course, focus on how crazy the bride gets when things start falling apart, but with all of the details that go into creating a flawless celebration, who can blame them for becoming Bridezillas?
Establishing a wedding mantra can keep you sane and avoid a case of the crazies. It will remind you that there will be a real, live person waiting at the end of the aisle for you – not just a set of bridesmaid dresses and a matching suite of tuxedos. Without that other person waiting to say “I do”, there’d be no reason for all of the fuss!
Reflect on WHY you’re getting married. What makes you want to tie the knot with your honey? Is it their sense of humor? Are they supportive? Do they balance you out? Whatever it is, write it down. Yes…Write. It. Down. Writing it down will not only reinforce it in your mind, but will give you something calming to look at when you need it most.
Be sure not to just write “I love him”; make it specific. For example, you could write: “I’m marrying the man who helps me see the sunny side of life,” “I’m marrying the person who supports my life goals,” or “I’m marrying someone who inspires me to be a better person.” Whatever it is that makes your union unique, that’s what you write.
Now, put that piece of paper somewhere you can regularly see it. As a matter of fact, put it everywhere you’ll regularly see it. Tape it to the refrigerator. Put it in the front of your wedding organizer. Make it the screensaver on your phone. Put it any place where you can easily be reminded of it when flowers and cake tastings start to get the better of you. When the pressures of planning begin to build, take a moment to reflect on your mantra…take some deep breaths, fill your mind with thoughts of your sweetheart, and fall in love all over again.
The point of all this is to keep you focused…keep your eyes on the prize. Remember, at the end of the day, the goal is not to have a perfect wedding; it’s to marry the person you truly love.
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